I know, the title of this post sounds kinda crazy. And yes, I am revealing my little compulsion to visit people.com every day. I find the stories riveting.
It's totally irrelevant to me that the folks involved are celebrities -- I am equally as enthralled by the daily ins and outs of the lives of random strangers, which is why I spend so much time reading blogs. I spose this news is not shocking to any of my readers given that one of the labels for my blog posts here is titled humans fascinate me.
Anyhoo, this post of reminders to myself has been brewing for months, and today's announcement that Seal and Heidi Klum are splitting up drove me to finally write it up.
Lesson #1: Relationships change.
Feelings come, feelings go. People come, people go. Even the most beautiful, loving and sincere connections and bonds are more often than not temporary ones.
This could be depressing. Or it could trigger an intention to deeply savor your time together, and not to take any relationship for granted.
How would you treat your mate differently if you remained fully aware on a daily basis that he or she could leave the relationship at any time?
Marriage does not guarantee permanence these days, so be nice! Treat each other with compassion and respect.
Ask yourself what it's like to be in a relationship with you, and make adjustments accordingly so that it's a pleasure (at least most of the time - we all have occasional bad moods!)
And even then, Lesson #2 still applies: In the end, the only permanent relationship you are guaranteed in life is with yourself.
So make it a good one! Be kind to yourself. Talk nicely to yourself. Cultivate self-compassion and self-forgiveness. That way you will always have a steady stream of these lovely things, and will not be dependent on anyone else to make you feel good.
Lesson #3: You will love again!
Your broken heart will heal and
you will find another romantic partner if you wish to. Remember johnny and winona, jen and brad, angie and billy bob, jlo and ben? They all moved on from hard, sad breakups and found new loves. Some of them have even moved on from their new loves and found newer loves.
Loving is not
unusual or special, it's what we humans do. It's the rule rather than the exception. We may take periodic breaks to heal and recharge, and the object of our affection may change. Some will shower their pets with love rather than a partner. But love we must!
Lesson #4: Change happens. So what?
External situations will change. Awareness -- the ability to perceive and experience -- will remain steadfast in the background.
Marriage, career, beauty, fitness ... all of these will arise and dissipate. They are flickering images on the screen of awareness - intended for fun and amusement, not as a permanent identity. The settings and characters will change, but who you are inside will remain the same.
Single or married, you are still you. Employed or job-hunting, still you. Wrinkly or smooth, size one or ten ... yep, still you.
So have fun with the pursuit of love, health, and success, but don't be fooled and think that any of it changes who you really are.
And don't worry too much about decisions like what to do, who to love, or where to live. Whatever you choose will be only be temporary anyway.
Put the most energy into cultivating awareness and compassion, since those will flavor everything else that you experience in life.
In the end, it's just you and you. And I am thinking that a life well lived will generate peace and contentment at that thought.