communication in relationships

I've been doing quite a bit of communication coaching with dyads lately -- romantic partners as well as parents and offspring -- and finding it to be an incredibly rewarding and thought-provoking experience.  Thought I'd post a few observations about interpersonal dynamics that seem to pop up often:

 1)  Underneath the impulse to attack there is always fear.  Most often, in relationships it's the fear that someone we care about and who knows us very well is correct in their assessment that we are wrong, bad, selfish, mean, critical, impulsive, weak, un-evolved or whatever.