one simple question

I felt drawn to google Ho'oponopono again this evening, and quickly stumbled across one simple question attributed to Dr. Hew Len that could revolutionize the way we relate to each other:

"What's going on in me that's causing this person to bug me?"

Radical, eh?  Don't we normally ask ourselves what's going on in the other person that is causing them to bug us? Gee, why is he being so mean to lil' ol' innocent me?

beyond lessons

I just heard for the umpteenth time that we humans incarnated to learn spiritual lessons.  Since that paradigm is SO pervasive, and in my opinion often leads to people feeling icky about themselves and their lives, I'd like to put some alternate proposals on the table for your consideration.

Of course I don't know sh-t about the true purpose of life, but I have noticed that almost inevitably, when I hear the 'learning lessons' concept from someone, it's laden with self-judgment, as in, Well, I guess I haven't learned my lesson yet,  or, If I had figured this out earlier, I wouldn't be going through this divorce/illness/crisis.

I hate to see people beat themselves up like this.  What if the starting premise is inaccurate?  What if there was a way of framing the human experience that was not about learning or progressing?  What if any situation you find yourself in is perfect, not as a means to an end, or a lesson to be learned eventually, but perfect in this moment in and of itself?

helping with problems

Loved this simple rule for helping from Alan Cohen:

If you are upset about their problem, it's your problem.
If you are not upset, you are in a perfect position to help. 

Upset or "ain't it awful" energy is not typically very helpful.

When we are triggered into upset, outrage, urgency, or rescue-mode by someone else's situation, we would do well to refrain from intervening until we have taken whatever steps are required to return to our own center of stillness and trust.

For some of us that might involve a meditation, breathing, mantra, or mindfulness practice.  For others it might be prayer, a run, a kickboxing workout, or petting the dog.

However we get there, when we take the time to return to a calm, clear, and conscious state of mind, we are best able to discern whether our assistance is truly needed and how to provide it.