urgency schmurgency

I love that whenever I talk to clients or friends, I always end up saying what I myself most need to hear:

The part of you that is calling for a BIG decision, whether it be about career, relationship, housing, or whatever, is the Mind, not the Heart.

It is the mind that creates urgency and desperation. It truly believes it cannot go one minute longer without a resolution. It hates ambiguity. Its job is to push for an action, a solution. It tells you to Just DO something about this! Anything! RIGHT NOW! because it doesn't think you can handle the pain of uncertainty.

The heart doesn't ask for big decisions or big declarations. It just rests quietly in loving stillness, taking each moment as it comes. It does not fear the future. It is okay with uncertainty, mystery, and unresolved situations. It knows that solutions and futures, like blooming flowers, usually unfurl themselves without assistance when the time is right.

So despite what the mind is saying, you don't need to force yourself to decide or act. You can wait, listen, watch for opportunities. Open to what is around you right now. Take note of what brings you joy, and look for small ways to increase that. Huge leaps of faith are rarely necessary. You can almost always get where you want to go in baby steps.

Don't let your mind terrorize you with its demands that you act or decide. It's actually just like the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtain and you'll see.

The mind is really just a tiny little part of you; so desperate to be important that it goes to great lengths to appear big and powerful. Which is very cute. But the heart, well, the heart is huge. Bottomless. Infinitely more trustable than that capricious little mind. Its grounded and loving guidance is always worth waiting for.

Nine times out of ten, when you think you simply must make a decision, you actually don't have to. It's a rare situation when you can't afford to get out of your mind for a while, even if only for one full breath. Let the panic and should-ing subside a bit. Settle into your heart, and see what you find there.

4 comments:

Jeff said...

"It knows that solutions and futures, like blooming flowers, usually unfurl themselves without assistance when the time is right. "

Karen, this is just beautiful. I really needed to hear this, too - and especially now. These words are a warm bath, soothing me back in to my Heart space.

"The mind is really just a tiny little part of you; so desperate to be important that it goes to great lengths to appear big and powerful. Which is very cute."

- LOL! Yes, it's like a little kid trying to play grown-up.

karen alonge said...

I'm so glad, Jeff. Your blog does the same for me. :)

Sandi said...

Oh, you know how much I love your thoughts, Karen. This is no exception. It's just perfect timing and the perfect words. You leap inside my head (and my heart) and figure out exactly what I need to hear! Thank you.

LOVE LOVE LOVE you!

Sandi

Chris said...

Right on Karen! It's funny how in business or even in society at large being "rational" is almost always given top priority, when everybody knows that how you feel is ALWAYS more important, for it's the true test of right thinking...