new tricks

It's never too late to change, even for old dogs like me! I just figured out a way to make life more pleasant for myself. It has everything to do with self-talk and questioning arbitrary definitions. 

Have you ever tracked how much of your time is spent on activities our culture defines as getting there vs. being there? Cooking is getting there, eating is being there. Writing is getting there, publishing is being there. Dating is getting there, marriage is being there. Commuting is getting there, working is being there

no regrets

I think it's brilliant advice to live your life in such a manner that when you look back upon it from your deathbed you will feel no regrets.

But I also think it's easy to misinterpret this guidance. I often hear people using it to torment themselves because they don't have the courage, resources, or wherewithal to change careers, leave a relationship, backpack through Europe, or make art in a cottage by the sea, and they feel they are cheating themselves somehow -- that they will look back later at these roads not taken with regret.

But what if the "no regrets" advice is actually much cheaper and easier to implement?

seek that which does not change

change is inevitable, so they say.

yet I am slowly becoming aware of something inside me that doesn't change.

I can't quite nail it down or name it.

awareness, maybe.


existence? experience? the witness?

are you sure?

On the walk back from my mailbox the other day, I noticed a very active yellowjacket kind of spazzing out right at the opening to one of those hanging plastic traps. So of course I stopped to watch, thinking I could cheer for him when he was victorious in his escape.

It soon became apparent that he was not trying to get out of the trap ... he was scrambling like crazy to get IN!

what bug bites taught me about brexit and trump

As I scoured this internet in search of remedies to relieve my discomfort from a bunch of itchy red welts on my face and arms, it occurred to me that my bug bites have a lot in common with current events -- specifically the Brexit vote yesterday, and the support that Trump has garnered in our country.

I think a lot of people are bugged by their current state of affairs, and just like me, are going in search of a remedy to relieve their pain.  We want to feel better, and we want it now. We don't want to have to go through a bunch of steps to heal the underlying dynamic that led to our suffering -- that would take too much time and energy. We just want relief, and fast.

Unfortunately, pain and clear thinking don't go together. Never have, never will.  

your attention, please

The ringleader at the circus usually opens the show with a time-honored phrase: "Your attention, please!" Why is this? Because he knows that if he's able to direct your attention, he can control your experience.

In my opinion, the single most important skill to develop in life is becoming the master of your own attention. (And by the way, I have a lot of work to do in this area!)

At any given time, there will be many events, people, and circumstances clamoring for your acknowledgment.

slowin' it down

It recently came to my attention that all of my life I have moved at a particular and relatively constant speed when doing tasks like wiping the counters, typing, installing screws, and taking the stairs.

How did that speed get determined? Why didn't it allow for changes in pace to deal with obstacles? I have no idea. I don't remember anyone ever standing over me telling me to move faster or that I couldn't ever slow down. But I am now keenly aware that this arbitrary pace I've never questioned before has been triggering an awful lot of unnecessary frustration for me.